Showing posts with label FrIeNds. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FrIeNds. Show all posts

Saturday, September 14, 2013

mohon teRASA!

salam kasih dan sayang
peace upon you

hanya dua tiga patah kata pedas


KALAU TERASA
KALAU TERSINDIR
KALAU TERGURIS
SILA BERUBAH

sekian

bergerak di posisi masingmasing
dengan sebaik mungkin
bukan pantang ditegur
bukan pantang orang bertegas
bukan pantang mengkritik

jom berubah
demi CINTA
berkorbanlah


p/s : aku mahu jadi seorang yang ignorant
andai aku salah kerana menekan
biarlah
aku rela
asalakan kami semua tak terbantut kerana kau seorang!



Tuesday, July 30, 2013

the weak me

salam kasih dan sayang
peace upon you

i felt miserable
seriously i hate this kind of feeling
but then
who am i to feel like this

the feeling that you felt
when nobody talk to you
nobody ask you
nobody bother about you
when you are ill
when you are even hardly can open your eyes
your face turned pale like a corpse
you can hardly walk straight
then 
your friends dont even talk to you
perhaps
they glimpsed once or twice
but no words

oh how weak i am
i wish im not the minority
i wish im not the only one different from them
i makes me felt terribly sick
sick from hatred and anger and jealousy perhaps

sadly...
its not the very first time
:')

aku tahu aku bukan siapa-siapa
hilang aku tidak membekas
tiada aku tak bererti apa-apa
ada aku seolah halimunan
wujud aku kadang tidak dihirau
aku tak mampu nak minta empati
simpati dan kasihan mungkin cukup bagi manusia macam aku
tak tahu bersyukur


ties that binding us now
may get stronger
may get weaker
we make the choice

aku bukan kakak yang baik
juga sahabat yang mengerti
seorang yang jahil
seorang yang 'garang'
seorang yang 'emo'
entah
pada mereka-mereka yang rapat
begitu sekali tanggapannya
kenapa sampai satu ketika mereka yang lain pula yang menghargai

sometimes 
i felt like
i dont have what we call family
the family that i always used to thought i had
is just my imagination

friendship is never about who have known you the longest
its about who came and never left you alone
 when you needed someone the most

aku
masih belum mampu menafikan hak diri
kata aki
mungkin inilah proses yang Allah bagi pada aku
untuk bentuk NAFI dalam diri
alhamdulillah :')


p/s : sometimes you give up on someone not because you dont care anymore,
 but you realize, they dont.


Friday, May 17, 2013

black-past.bright-future (hopefully).grey PRESENT

salam kasih dan sayang
peace upon you

somebody mention about aim to me
not aim of the lesson
not aim of the day
but
aim of my life
sungguh lemah aku bila bercakap soal objektif hidup

if the question was raised two or three years in the past
perhaps i still do not have any idea to answer
now?
hahaha
history becomes a hurtful thing to remember nowadays
past is past
but still
  we cannot live without our past   

biarlah dosa dan noda yang kita lakukan menjadi pengajaran terbaik untuk masa hadapan
im not such a good girl
im not such a good sister
im not such a good daughter
i sinned myself
too many
too much
uncountable deeds
until now
im still trying to be a 'good' person
if not to others, to me, myself and I

aku tak mampu nak mendongak langit
tanpa menghirau dosa yang tebal mempalit
aku tak mampu untuk melangkah laju
tanpa memikir noda yang hitam melekat
kecewa
malu
sakit hati
gundahgulana
geram
benci
semua terasa

oh, its not the sin that we suppose to think
how we can change ourselves
that is what we should mind

aku tak pernah meletakkan 'dekan' sebagai matlamat
alhamdulillah melangkah ke pentas anugerah itu rezeki Tuhan
aku tak pernah meletakkan mandat yang diterima sebagai impian
syukur aku diberi amanah sebagai ujian
aku tak pernah meletakkan kejayaan yang diterima setakat ini sebagai harapan
alhamdulillah!
aku bangga
bangga aku kerana aku ada sahabat
bangga aku kerana aku ada adikberadik bukan serahim
bangga aku kerana aku ada keluarga tidak sedarah sedaging
untuk aku bergantung harap
untuk aku mengadu luka dan duka
untuk aku menumpah air mata
untuk aku berkongsi cerita
untuk aku minta bantuan dan sokongan
itulah, 
impian aku

to dream anything that you want to dream
that's the beauty of the human mind
to do anything that you want to do
that is the strength o human will
to trust yourself to test your limits
that is the courage to succeed
Bernard Edmonds

this is what i hope most in my life
to have a family
to have friends
to have everything that i already had today
aim of my life?
biarlah menjadi rahsia jiwa dan raga

our nature
as a human
we will remember marks that we have on our body
especially the ugly one
marks in our life? forever
these marks, every single little bits
will affect our life
you can escape
you can act like it never happen
but you just cant

i do have these marks
i have lots of them
one by one
they haunting me
till this day

there's one person
who i have to say millions of sorry
this one person who help me to become what i am today
to help me to get out from the darkness
in the end
...

bila aku dipersoalkan
ketegasan
aku yang garang
aku yang tidak menampakkan kasih sayang
aku agak kecewa
garang aku bukan kerana emosi
garang aku bukan kerana aku benci
garang aku bukan eksploitasi
aku bukan garang
aku memang tegas dalam gerak kerja
secara zahirnya aku memang begini
aku bukan manusia bertangguh
aku bukan manusia berlengah
aku tak mampu menjadi lemah dan lembut
sembilan lagi saudara sedarah bawah aku
dahaga perhatian dan bimbingan
biarlah kasih dan sayang
biar kena pada masa dan tempatnya
insya Allah!


dalaman aku
orang yang mendekati yang tahu
emosi aku bila ada yang mampu menggugat kawalan
aku manusia berprinsip
jika itu yang aku persembahkan
itu juga yang aku harapkan dari yang lain

    kata-kata dari seorang rakan sepimpinan    
jasad sahaja sudah berbeza apatah lagi pendekatan yang diguna
jika mahu belaian mesra sepanjang masa
itu bukan namanya bekerja
pergilah berkeluarga di tempat lain
dalam dunia kepimpinan
adakalanya kita perlu menjadi seorang yang pendengar yang baik
adakalanya menjadi seorang yang pekak
pekak bukan bermaksud tak mendengar
tapi tak simpan dalam hati
sebab untuk puaskan hati semua orang, 
itu bukanlah kemampuan kita
namun perlu disusuli dengan kewarasan dalam menilai situasi
cabaran akan membuatkan kita lebih matang
-such a long message-
sungguh aku berterima kasih!
:')

kata-kata nasihat dan teguran
menjadi pedoman sekarang
siapa aku untuk menolak
aku berkhidmat bukan pada manusia
aku berkhidmat pada Tuhan
menabur tenaga di dunia
insyaallah
membawa ke akhirat


perjalanan sebagai hamba bernyawa masih panjang

setiap apa yang aku lakukan ada malaikat setia mencatat
sedih kecewa malu menyesal
dengan sejarah yang menghantui
dari suka menjadi benci
itulah padah mencari yang bukan hakiki
berlandaskan nafsu diri
nauzubillah
aku tak sanggup lagi
alhamdulillah aku faham kini
kenapa begini yang kau lakukan
tiada lagi persoalan
semoga Allah merahmati
setiap detik waktu kau meniti hidup
biarlah rahsia menjadi rahsia sepanjang usia
tapi sungguh aku kata
jika aku mampu,
aku tak mahu lagi 
walau mendengar
walau melihat
bayang pun!


p/s : tributes to
aki.de.angoh.andak.alan.adi.aleh
udami.chikmor.chikmbok.angohari.acuzha
aleh.anjang.akka.kakattiq.uncle.adek
acu.hira.cikda.jaya.yeob.dikjah.andak.githa.dikchik.kakngah
thambi.baby.pokcik.mokcik.poksu,shivane.pokwe.yong.uteh.bobo

     i love you with all my heart :')    
happy teacher's day



Sunday, December 25, 2011

i am annoyed!

salam sejahtera
peace upon you



this might be my last entry for 2011
what a lazy person i am =.=”

guess what, i want to ask all of you, my dearest readers
what is your opinion in greeting others ‘merry x’mas’?
i knew that we’re muslims and i we are not suppose to greet them that
however! 
( ada exclamatory mark kat sini )
i can’t see the point why lots and lots of muslims keep attacking others
commenting that
it’s a sin
publicly
if you ever think of your friends feeling, you won't do that

agak terserlah kekurangan kefahaman anda di situ
jangan terlalu cepat jatuhkan hukum
i have a lot of christian friends
they are upset by this kind of issue
and of all days, do you need to tell others that it’s a sin on x’mass???
for me, i made a research on this issue
some says it’s ok as long kita tak redha dengan sambutan tu
and our greets just for the mean of friendship
some says bila kita wish, it’s mean kita mengakui ketuhanan christ
for us Isa ibn Maryam a.s is our prophet, not the god like the christians believe

for me that still lack of knowledge
( doakanlah akan bertambah kefahaman saya )
we don’t have to show we hate it, simply don’t wish it 
tak susah pun kan?
you can say happy new year or etc..new year is just around the corner isn’t it?
and the fact that it’s Isa al-Masih's birthday can be denied…
it's an important date for us, muslim too

open your mind, come on la
what would you feel if people said
   jangan ucap selamat hari raya   
dosa!

mad isn’t it?
we live in multicultural country
multi-religions not to mention
please, care for others…life is not about us only

jangan bercakap je lebat tapi buatnya tak
keep saying this is haram that is haram
tapi bila benda buat depan mata buat tak nampak
benda yang syubhah nak dibesar-besarkan, perkara yang terang nyata dipinggirkan
   change your mindsets!   
quick, asap
   show the true values of islam, practice the sunnah   
not only other muslims will respect you
you may attract non-muslims to approach islam

we need to learn about others
in order for others to respect us
again
life is not just about you


p/s : geram!
i hate it when people keep saying im defending my christian friends bla3
hey, please..use your brain.
Rasulullah saw pun respect other religions k





Tuesday, November 29, 2011

tribute to my friends . bila dah bosan gak...

salam sejahtera
peace upon you

seriously
truly
madly
deeply
in trouble
=.=”

i wish i didn’t do what i had done to you
aiyoo..sorry!
we are friends
   FRIENDSHIP never sink   
we just need to distance ourselves
i think so…
stop bothering me with your sweet words, i won’t accept them

my close friends start suggesting weird things to me
choose this, do that, learn how to get this, that is the one
tall, cute, handsome bla bla bla
actually, im not interested in such things..yet
however!
because of my self-concious hormone higher than anybody else
i afraid that i have to admit
 im a very sensitive person
quite good at misinterpreting things
don’t try to tease me
the one that may regret later might be someone that is absolutely not me
  so i hope, we just follow the flow
if i wish to stop so that’s it

i hardly believe in people
though im a honest person ~ i keep things by myself
if im telling you something about myself
i think you are worth to be a close friend of mine
don’t cross the border too much k…

i am a lucky person
i got many friends
i got many counsellors and psychiatrists to consult
 thank you
but
sorry if your advice are not considered
i guess i just realise one or two things for now
i knew what i should do
wish me luck babes!

we always got excited over unnecessary things 
thanx for brighten my life make it wonderful and colorful

its true
we should choose people to befriend carefully
because  they will affect you or vice versa
but
   never ignore your friends   
kalau dah tahu dorang tu senget
help them
siratul mustaqim bukan hanya untuk anda
orang yang perasan dirinya berada di landasan yang betul
takkan tinggal kawan
    nak jadi baik tak boleh sorang-sorang

i miss my campus!!!
wuuwuuu..i miss doing my assignments
chitchatting whole time with them
instead of cooking, washing dishes, sewing
berebut remote control tv, bolster
nak mandi hujan da tak hujan =.=”


as for you
my best friend…for now
and forever, i hope
meh la derak umoh ak lagi deh J
don’t forget
eat less, exercise more
stop kembangkan diri anda neh
next time we will go to munduk ye, shopping together-gether
eeeuuuww!
nice to know you and of course your mom too
kena ayat mak, baru dapat lesen dok?
haha




p/s : i guess people never feel satisfied.
when im in maktab i miss home
when im home i miss maktab =.=”




Wednesday, November 16, 2011

happy independence day . good bye

salam sejahtera
peace upon you

seriously
i cant wait!
i wanna go home, this exact hour if i can
oh,
forgot one important thing
   HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY   
to all 3PPISMP TESL students
to everybody that already finished their exam
:)

sitting for the first official exam
plus with syllabi for 3 consecutive sems
and strict lecturers of course =.="
supplied with low grades for assignments
added with last minute studies ( not me k~ )
neutralised with tawakkal and redha
pape pun, 
just wait for our results with doa
pasrah itu penting

exams = cuti
yeay!
finally, home sweet home
SP Bumi, 9pm
butterworth - kuala terengganu
please pray for my journey


bye beloved maktab
bye beloved friends
my beloved books
bye beloved files yang tebal dan berat
bye my beautiful room
bye my kind and super duper cute roomate zarith
ma'an najah bittaufiq for your exams
bye my stars

   i'll miss you all   



p/s : bermula la episod makan tido makan tido masak =.="
dalam drama | menggemokkan diri | 12am-1159pm | everyday starting tomorrow |



Friday, November 4, 2011

identity crisis . my common prob during EXAM

salam sejahtera
peace upon you

first of all
  GOOD LUCK TO ALL IPG'S STUDENT FOR YOUR FINAL EXAM  
our struggle begins next week

when exam comes nearer
 i'll become crazier than usual
pity my friends
sorry to say but my hormones are not in the right fraction
totally ill-distributed and imbalanced
i got sick easily - especially in this kind of weather
almost all the time, i'm not in the mood
this week, is a very tense week for me


i'm not a study type person
i didn't sleep with my books
i never open all the stupid books more than an hour
i can't stay static when i'm studying
10 mins holding the book
15 mins needed to refresh my mind back!
that's why i always go to the library
even though there's nobody to accompany me
pushing myself very hard to wake up early
get ready to meet the lecturers
if i keep staying in my room
i'll get nothing
cause
i'll do nothing except than reading manga online
reading and laughing alone with those stupid novels and comics
blog-walking here and there 
facebooking, stalking people
haish!


is it only me or you too did encounter these temptations???


susah nak fokus kan?

actually
this crisis began when i saw my friends study and study and STUDY
and i myself are not ready yet!
i will try to keep myself alone
going here and there
trying to find a right place and time for me to do revision
alone
i'm not stingy, i can share what i know
if people approach me and ask me
i still can treat them well
it's just to soothe my heart anyway

sorry to all my classmates
sorry to all my friends
during this period
i don't keep my phone with me all the time
i just reply what i think i should
this exam include
syllabi for three sems kot!

after all this silly things with examination finish
i'll back to normal
dulu in matriculation pun macam ni jugak
=.="



p/s : tak boleh manjakan diri sangat!
sekarang pun bukan nak buka buku..heh




Thursday, October 6, 2011

flashbacks : TELENOVELA hidup

salam sejahtera
peace upon you

last saturday
i went to KLCC and met my best friend there
shazni marzuki
you are just too wonderful to be described
wonderFRIEND
we shared everything that we could think at that time
ahh..betapa dah berubahnya hidup kami
i miss my old friends
real bad!

today i met my ex-lecturer from KMPP
she's a very significant character in my life
the one and only
miss wahidah abd majid

she said
im different and she did mentioned that
"dulu dia selekeh je"
in front of two of my present classmates =.="
actually i was proud when she said that
she saw something different in me from before
im changing..of course to the better
from selekeh..mungkin kepada lebih kemas..kot!

everything that i had faced, my experiences, bittersweet moments 
was flashed during that short time with her
there are memories that was hard to forget
and experiences that was hard to get!


i kept all the memories that we'd shared together in my mind closely
it's even hard to write even an ounce of them
it's too fantastic to be written with words! 



p/s : im looking forward for a reunion bebeh!


Sunday, September 11, 2011

there is "WE" in "ME"

salam sejahtera 
peace upon you


YOU and ME might be a different piece of puzzle
but there's WE in ME

i know
almost everybody think i am a nuisance
keep asking
WHAT HAPPENED? WHY? KENAPA? ARE YOU OK?
all the time this kind of words keep slipping out of my tongue
it's not like i can't control my words
i just care too much
because i love you so much

sorry if you take me as a busy body
sorry if i had bothered you
sorry if i made you felt annoyed

saya tak akan pernah tahu yang mereka tak suka
terima kasih kerana memberitahu




but i'll never stop asking
cause we are friends forever


p/s : i miss my friends..sooOOoo much!



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