Maal Hijrah and Changes.

salam kasih dan sayang

peace upon you

If I was the older me,

She would say

Anything that can make me shake my heart

Another words

Emo sengsorang

Thanks Allah

I have learned so much things

Day by day

Handling matters

My attitude

The most important

Girls, ladies, women

Well, feelings and emotions

Made us different from

Boys, gentlemen, men

Right?

I wish

This Hidayati

Who used to cry

Who used to panic

Who used to get mad

At simplest thing

*maybe for me it’s a very major thing

Will last longer

For some people

Hey im not maniac

Im just used to work the way I am

I talk fast

I run my fingers on the keyboard fast

I snap fast

Its not emo

It’s the way I work

Ask them who used to be around me

U ll know

Don’t simply label me

Just because you cannot fit in it

Ok? ;)

You know what

The end is getting nearer

Day by day

In the pitch-dark nights

I would think

Im afraid

We don’t have much time

To settle things as we need to

To do things we need to

Keep moving

Keep doing

keep going

fly as high as you can

bring my heart together

if im not with you

anymore.

Yesterday

I learned something

About you who once I adored so much

And I bet

Those who knows the fact

Will never expect

What you had done to me

And others as well

Aku doakan yang terbaek untuk kau

“moga kita terima takdir Allah dengan gembira

Allah yang jadualkan kita

Allah juga yang gerakkan kita

Dan mengikut jadualnya”

Maaf tu terlalu susah

Yang pasti

I will never forget

Fullstop.

Alfatihah.

To those who made me learned.

aku kuat

insyaallah

alfatihah guru yang dicintai :')

kasih sayang
cinta
senjata akhir zaman
insyaallah

mohon teRASA!

salam kasih dan sayang

peace upon you

hanya dua tiga patah kata pedas

KALAU TERASA

KALAU TERSINDIR

KALAU TERGURIS

SILA BERUBAH

sekian

bergerak di posisi masingmasing

dengan sebaik mungkin

bukan pantang ditegur

bukan pantang orang bertegas

bukan pantang mengkritik

jom berubah

demi CINTA

berkorbanlah

p/s : aku mahu jadi seorang yang ignorant

andai aku salah kerana menekan

biarlah

aku rela

asalakan kami semua tak terbantut kerana kau seorang!

di sebalik MIMPI dan REALiti

salam kasih dan sayang

peace upon you

"O Allah, help the oppressed against the oppressors in all parts of the world.
O Allah, have mercy on the Ummah of Muhammad.
O Allah, bring relief to the Ummah of Muhammad.
O Allah, You are the twister of hearts, make our feet steadfast on the path of truth."

#pray4Egypt #pray4Gaza #pray4Syria #pray4Burma #pray4Muslims

in my dream

i saw a wicked me

the young "me"

my mind was blurred with anger and hatred

towards everything i had faced during  my childhood

until now, i dont like my childhood memories

the teenage "me" and the yesterday "me"

the darkest secret

is here

the burden that can ruin my life

the sins that i had done was played again over and over

since today i lived envision those things

and everyday the burdens seems heavier

there was times where i felt i was too sinful

i was too disgusting

even i felt disgusted with myself

i was too weak

to admit that one day He will show to me

hikmah behind everything that had occurred

or the one still cant understand is me myself

seharusnya

aku berpijak di bumi yang nyata

berpijak di alam realiti

all those in the past 

i must let it go

and continue my life as a brand new person

reflect myself everyday

ask for forgiveness all the time

zikrullah everytime and everywhere

nafi dan ithbat tanamkan dalam-dalam 

dalam jiwa

dalam hati

semoga rohani terus subur dengan cinta

hati aku masih belum bersih

masih ada terlekat keinginan dan kemahuan

terhadap segala yang apa dilakukan

adalah dari aku

bukan dari Tuhanku

ya Allah

ampunkan hamba-MU ini!

susah payah berat

untuk aku pasakkan kaki aku di atas realiti

sungguh aku berharap esok aku akan lupa segalanya

kerana sekarang aku takut

untuk teruskan hidup dengan ke hadapan

aku bimbang dengan 'aku' yang semalam

kembali dan menjadi 'aku' yang esok

nauzubillah!

"Di balik cermin, cermin mimpi

Adalah realiti yang tidak kita sedari

Hanya keyakinan dapat merestui

Hakikat cinta yang sejati"

M. Nasir

aku ingin bercinta dengan Allah

aku ingin bercinta dengan Rasulullah

bukan makhluk yang tidak hakiki

yang melalaikan

amin!

p/s : astaghfirullah..ya Allah ampunkan aku :'(

the weak me

salam kasih dan sayang

peace upon you

i felt miserable

seriously i hate this kind of feeling

but then

who am i to feel like this

the feeling that you felt

when nobody talk to you

nobody ask you

nobody bother about you

when you are ill

when you are even hardly can open your eyes

your face turned pale like a corpse

you can hardly walk straight

then 

your friends dont even talk to you

perhaps

they glimpsed once or twice

but no words

oh how weak i am

i wish im not the minority

i wish im not the only one different from them

i makes me felt terribly sick

sick from hatred and anger and jealousy perhaps

sadly...

its not the very first time

:')

aku tahu aku bukan siapa-siapa

hilang aku tidak membekas

tiada aku tak bererti apa-apa

ada aku seolah halimunan

wujud aku kadang tidak dihirau

aku tak mampu nak minta empati

simpati dan kasihan mungkin cukup bagi manusia macam aku

tak tahu bersyukur

ties that binding us now

may get stronger

may get weaker

we make the choice

aku bukan kakak yang baik

juga sahabat yang mengerti

seorang yang jahil

seorang yang 'garang'

seorang yang 'emo'

entah

pada mereka-mereka yang rapat

begitu sekali tanggapannya

kenapa sampai satu ketika mereka yang lain pula yang menghargai

sometimes 

i felt like

i dont have what we call family

the family that i always used to thought i had

is just my imagination

friendship is never about who have known you the longest

its about who came and never left you alone

 when you needed someone the most

aku

masih belum mampu menafikan hak diri

kata aki

mungkin inilah proses yang Allah bagi pada aku

untuk bentuk NAFI dalam diri

alhamdulillah :')

p/s : sometimes you give up on someone not because you dont care anymore,

 but you realize, they dont.

black-past.bright-future (hopefully).grey PRESENT

salam kasih dan sayang

peace upon you

somebody mention about aim to me

not aim of the lesson

not aim of the day

but

aim of my life

sungguh lemah aku bila bercakap soal objektif hidup

if the question was raised two or three years in the past

perhaps i still do not have any idea to answer

now?

hahaha

history becomes a hurtful thing to remember nowadays

past is past

but still

  we cannot live without our past   

biarlah dosa dan noda yang kita lakukan menjadi pengajaran terbaik untuk masa hadapan

im not such a good girl

im not such a good sister

im not such a good daughter

i sinned myself

too many

too much

uncountable deeds

until now

im still trying to be a 'good' person

if not to others, to me, myself and I

aku tak mampu nak mendongak langit

tanpa menghirau dosa yang tebal mempalit

aku tak mampu untuk melangkah laju

tanpa memikir noda yang hitam melekat

kecewa

malu

sakit hati

gundahgulana

geram

benci

semua terasa

oh, its not the sin that we suppose to think

how we can change ourselves

that is what we should mind

aku tak pernah meletakkan 'dekan' sebagai matlamat

alhamdulillah melangkah ke pentas anugerah itu rezeki Tuhan

aku tak pernah meletakkan mandat yang diterima sebagai impian

syukur aku diberi amanah sebagai ujian

aku tak pernah meletakkan kejayaan yang diterima setakat ini sebagai harapan

alhamdulillah!

aku bangga

bangga aku kerana aku ada sahabat

bangga aku kerana aku ada adikberadik bukan serahim

bangga aku kerana aku ada keluarga tidak sedarah sedaging

untuk aku bergantung harap

untuk aku mengadu luka dan duka

untuk aku menumpah air mata

untuk aku berkongsi cerita

untuk aku minta bantuan dan sokongan

itulah, 

impian aku

to dream anything that you want to dream

that's the beauty of the human mind

to do anything that you want to do

that is the strength o human will

to trust yourself to test your limits

that is the courage to succeed

Bernard Edmonds

this is what i hope most in my life

to have a family

to have friends

to have everything that i already had today

aim of my life?

biarlah menjadi rahsia jiwa dan raga

our nature

as a human

we will remember marks that we have on our body

especially the ugly one

marks in our life? forever

these marks, every single little bits

will affect our life

you can escape

you can act like it never happen

but you just cant

i do have these marks

i have lots of them

one by one

they haunting me

till this day

there's one person

who i have to say millions of sorry

this one person who help me to become what i am today

to help me to get out from the darkness

in the end

...

bila aku dipersoalkan

ketegasan

aku yang garang

aku yang tidak menampakkan kasih sayang

aku agak kecewa

garang aku bukan kerana emosi

garang aku bukan kerana aku benci

garang aku bukan eksploitasi

aku bukan garang

aku memang tegas dalam gerak kerja

secara zahirnya aku memang begini

aku bukan manusia bertangguh

aku bukan manusia berlengah

aku tak mampu menjadi lemah dan lembut

sembilan lagi saudara sedarah bawah aku

dahaga perhatian dan bimbingan

biarlah kasih dan sayang

biar kena pada masa dan tempatnya

insya Allah!

dalaman aku

orang yang mendekati yang tahu

emosi aku bila ada yang mampu menggugat kawalan

aku manusia berprinsip

jika itu yang aku persembahkan

itu juga yang aku harapkan dari yang lain

    kata-kata dari seorang rakan sepimpinan    

jasad sahaja sudah berbeza apatah lagi pendekatan yang diguna

jika mahu belaian mesra sepanjang masa

itu bukan namanya bekerja

pergilah berkeluarga di tempat lain

dalam dunia kepimpinan

adakalanya kita perlu menjadi seorang yang pendengar yang baik

adakalanya menjadi seorang yang pekak

pekak bukan bermaksud tak mendengar

tapi tak simpan dalam hati

sebab untuk puaskan hati semua orang, 

itu bukanlah kemampuan kita

namun perlu disusuli dengan kewarasan dalam menilai situasi

cabaran akan membuatkan kita lebih matang

-such a long message-

sungguh aku berterima kasih!

:')

kata-kata nasihat dan teguran

menjadi pedoman sekarang

siapa aku untuk menolak

aku berkhidmat bukan pada manusia

aku berkhidmat pada Tuhan

menabur tenaga di dunia

insyaallah

membawa ke akhirat

perjalanan sebagai hamba bernyawa masih panjang

setiap apa yang aku lakukan ada malaikat setia mencatat

sedih kecewa malu menyesal

dengan sejarah yang menghantui

dari suka menjadi benci

itulah padah mencari yang bukan hakiki

berlandaskan nafsu diri

nauzubillah

aku tak sanggup lagi

alhamdulillah aku faham kini

kenapa begini yang kau lakukan

tiada lagi persoalan

semoga Allah merahmati

setiap detik waktu kau meniti hidup

biarlah rahsia menjadi rahsia sepanjang usia

tapi sungguh aku kata

jika aku mampu,

aku tak mahu lagi 

walau mendengar

walau melihat

bayang pun!

p/s : tributes to

aki.de.angoh.andak.alan.adi.aleh

udami.chikmor.chikmbok.angohari.acuzha

aleh.anjang.akka.kakattiq.uncle.adek

acu.hira.cikda.jaya.yeob.dikjah.andak.githa.dikchik.kakngah

thambi.baby.pokcik.mokcik.poksu,shivane.pokwe.yong.uteh.bobo

     i love you with all my heart :')    

happy teacher's day

glooomy holiday~missing some days!

 

salam sejahtera

peace upon you

it’s holiday

but i’m not enjoying my holiday at all

=.=”

for the first three days, yes i did enjoying it

now?

gloooooooooomy days

started to miss everybody

i miss my path to the class

(saya selalu berseorangan bila ke kelas, i got nobody to miss for this event..hahaha

i miss my roomate

my dear cutey kitty

    zarith sofia   

rather than chatting with you

 i was weeping and crying in the room

maaf

for days and nights that i had leaved you alone

maaf

you are my wonderful roomate

you word means a lot for me whenever i that i was too weak

thank you so much

i miss my classmates

i think...for the past few weeks i got complexes towards them all

maybe because i didnt spend any valuable time with them

i kept myself busy with other things which i think more important

skipping classes

try to catch up thus ignoring others

we didnt even have time to chatting like we used to

sorry

i know...i always made somebody hurt

some might thought that im a jerk

for others that understand me in a way that others dont

thank you

even though you dont have the courage to stand up for me

but sympathy and pity is not enough for somebody who you consider a friend

my classmates for 4 years more

i love you all

its ok for you to badmouth me

tak luak pun kalau korang mengata

for love doesnt count all those silly things

we will forget bitter times and keep in mind the sweet and creamy moments

some of my dears

TESL 4

this sem is the toughest sem for me

i think i have turn out being sensitive person

before this i dont care what people are saying to me

backstabbers and those who talk bad things about me

i never disregard you

its your opinion and its your nature to have stinky mouths

but now,

i feel hurt

there are times i heard some gossips that are too outrageous

about me which i dont even know where or when or how it happen

people love making stories right?

regardless of what people did or say

i have usrati

a family which i know they will always stand up for me

cheer me up even its the worst time of my life

cry and weep with me

help me whenever i’m in need

never diregard me when im the one at fault

ukhuwwah kerana islam sangat bermakna

for years i had been searching for a true friends

i belive that i had found them

thank you for encouraging me

to be a better person

helping me to istiqamah in my way to be a better muslimah

uhibbuki fillah abadan abada

as for you

maaf sangat-sangat

kadang-kadang aku marah sebab perkara tak berasas

kecil hati dengan benda yang langsung tak logik

memandai buat hypothesis sendiri tanpa mencari conclusion

kekadang berlagak mcm tak kenal pun mu kan...

aku tak dapat jadi peneman baik

menyusahkan dan menyakitkan hati

maaf

terima kasih

marah bila aku buat silap

tegur bila aku melampau

kritik bila aku melebih-lebih

kadang-kadang aku rasa restricted tapi in a good way

mu dah macam ayah aku..haha

most important, thank you for your patience

dan aku harap akan terus bersabar neh 

1 pismp..done

seven sems to go!

p/s : i love you ♥

prinsip manusia yang tak berDUNIA : asal aku bahagia...!

salam sejahtera

peace upon you

after such a long time!

alhamdulillah..finally i got time to update blog buruk nih

siapa manusia yang tak berdunia?

it's me

and perhaps one of them is you

berDUNIA

i once had a friend

he always said that to me 

"kau ni tak berdunia..buka sikit minda tu"

-dalam nada bergurau ye-

when i look back, reminiscing the past

yes, i'm not berdunia enough

especially to people like him

plus that im not that open-minded like him

and those that hold to the principle that

   asal aku bahagia, peduli apa orang kata   

until today, even after we broke the relation that we once had

i cant apply that in my life

and im thankful for that

alhamdulillah :)

dunia - dunya in arabic

 means the temporal world—and its earthly concerns and possessions—as opposed to the eternal spiritual realm, or the hereafter 

got it?

i never mean to say that im a manusia yang berakhirat

(kalau ya, alhamdulillah)

but berdunia semata-mata sahaja silap

this world is just a temporary place

And this worldly life is not but diversion and amusement. And indeed, the home of the Hereafter - that is the [eternal] life, if only they knew. 

(29:64)

a transit after alam roh and alam rahim

on our way to barzakh

done bab berdunia

   asal aku bahagia...!   

i despise those who said that

sometimes i feel like

"waaahh..hebat orang ni!"
of course la,

they dare to live without considering what others are thinking about them

kan?

point of view is subjective

if i say it is wrong

you might look at it right

my POV, it's wrong..but not totally wrong

analogi simple :

a man going out wearing a bra, or acting like superman

wearing his briefs outside his pants

then he said,

"suka hati aku la...asal aku bahagia"

hahaha and more hahaha

whether he realise it or not, he's giving dosa to those who will insult him

the most important thing,

   dignity - maruah   

others will look down at him

berani dalam perkara yang salah

bahagia dalam cemuhan

one thing to share

most people that keep holding to this principle are those who hardly can accept any advice or critics

agree?

kehidupan tidak mungkin akan dilayari secara berseorangan

every thing dependent of other things

human need oxygen from plants

human need sunshine

human need animal

human need soil

human need water

human need other human to communicate

men need women to breed

(untuk tumbuhan dan haiwan..list la sendiri..tak larat nak taep~)

but they are people who dare to live only with his/her expectation

without considering how others look at them

(i might be mocked after this entry..huhu)

so, human..how can you say

"asal aku bahagia..peduli apa orang kata?"
this earth is too small for us to run from each other

hidup is too short for us to kumpul pahala and cover semua dosa yang kita buat

(maaf kerojakan bahasa saya di situ)

O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted. 

(49:13)

and yet we try to oppose His words

being ignorant people towards others

...you may know one another 

don't ignore the fact that people always grow according to norm

either norm made by the society or by the religions 

we always have expectation to be reached

yang baik atau buruk

wallahualam...niat itu hanya diri sendiri yang tahu

:: reminder ::

bukan kita sahaja yang punya hati untuk dijaga

bukan kita sahaja yang ada buah fikiran untuk diluah

bukan kita sahaja yang ada pendirian untuk dipegang

bukan kita sahaja yang ada kehidupan untuk dilayari

bukan kita sahaja yang mahukan kebahagiaan

bukan kita sahaja yang mahu mengelak kedukaan

wallahualam

p/s : nak hidup seorang boleh la pegang prinsip tu. 

saya taknak, awak nak? :P