misery

salam sejahtera

peace upon you

maaf

kerana ketiadaan entry baru dalam masa yang lama

I think I was out of reason to procrastinate

in doing something like assignments

helping my mom or dad

or sisters or brothers

sebab tu saya ada masa nak meng-update

sometimes it was such a misery, when I got nothing to do

misery according to http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/misery

a state or feeling of great physical or mental distress or discomfort

why is it misery now?

no answer

mungkin saja-saja nak bercerita

tiba-tiba terasa nak berkongsi satu kisah

memori lama seseorang

at that time, I was in standard 6

I got a classmate named ********

this friend actually wasn’t such a likeable girl

back then, she always appeared alone

and sometimes people seemed disgusted with her appearances

dirty clothes

old school bags

she was like an abandoned child to me

I wondered why she was like that

she didn’t come from a hard family though

Oh, she’s living with her grandparents

so?

as far as I knew, her grandma really didn’t like her

she always came to me crying

telling me how her grandma asked her money for the food she ate

babbling about the money she wasted on her

on electricity bills, water bills

how lazy she was

I felt it was very unfair to her

she was just a kid, a little girl

her aunt also lived in that house but she done nothing

she was some sort of princess of the castle

if something happened, the house was not tidy enough

she got the blame

she washed all her clothes by hands

she couldn’t use the washing machine

or else she will get tones of lectures and babbles

as the one who bought that thing was her aunt

I remembered once

when her younger brother came there

he got some injuries

( I couldn’t remember how he injured himself )

she wanted to call her dad, telling that her brother got injured

and she wanted him to come early to take her brother

the moment she lifted the telephone, started to press the numbers

her aunt started her babbling

her grandma got mad

and kept talking about how she had wasted her money since she lived there

there was nobody who could stand and defend them

she put the phone back

she rode her bicycle with her brother crying at the back

they went to the nearest public phone but it was broken

she went to other public phone that was quite far from the village

but, it was also broken

she couldn’t hold all the sadness and miseries that she had bear all this while

she held the tears that was dwelling in her eyes

she sent her brother back to her grandma’s house

then rode her bicycle without any directions for hours

it started to rain and the sky getting darker and darker

for that night, she did not go home

she went to her friend’s house and slept there

she told her friend’s mom that she couldn’t go home because it was raining

yes, it was

it was raining cats and dogs in herself

she got too many things to hold in her small little heart and mind

on our last day in primary school

she received so many awards

she also got the first place from all standard 6 students

 ( yes, she was a smart and hardworking girl )

Because she did not have many friends

she wasted her time on reading books and doing practices

but it was a pity

when everybody was with their families

took pictures together

got hugs and back rubs from their parents

nobody was there to share her happiness

she sat at a hidden corner crying alone after the ceremony finished

no mom or dad

her grandma and aunt?

hahaha

now?

I don’t know

I guess her life got better as she had live with her parents

her own family

come, together with me

we pray for her

for a better life

also for others that think money and materials are everything

don’t ever lose your humanity

thus bring miseries to others

P/S : misery no more~

bila saya teringat kisah lama ni, saya rasa saya mampu hadapi segala tekanan yang ada

andai dia yang ketika hanya berusia 12 tahun dapat atasi tekanan sebegitu, apatah lagi saya