Sunday, July 3, 2011

why ME???


salam sejahtera
peace upon you 

warning to people who think they are not ready to face 
such a gruesome truth

wrong way to those who don't want to know who they really are

i always think that people are cruel
*only when they gave me something that  don't want*
i always think that people are crazy
*when i know that they do know i can't do something that they gave me*
i always think that people are stupid
*when i know that they knew i already reached my limit*
but
when i read this 

Fighting has been enjoined upon you while it is hateful to you. 
But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.
( al-baqarah,216 )

the problem is
when do we remember this verse?
did it ever struck your mind when He gave you something that you don't want?
no..right?
tapi bila ada kawan yang mengadu
"beratnya ujian ini"
"susahnya hidup aku"
"sakitnya aku"
pandai pula saya dan awak semua berkata-kata
"ALAH tak turunkan ujian yang tak mampu dilakukan hamba-Nya"
bila diri sendiri terkena
tak ada nya nak ingat ayat ni!


do you dare to ask yourself again


when someone ask you to do something
before you accept what will you say?
ok?
yes?
my pleasure?
no!
you will say
"tak ada orang lain ke?"
"saya banyak kerja la"
"kalau dah takde orang lain..."
right?
...funny...
hampir semua yang baca ni
*hampir*
do said this

before this
i really hate it
when people said 
"you can do it"
"i believe in you"
"you are the best"
but i know the truth
those words are made just to sooth my mind, my heart
deep inside, i knew
i can't and i will never can't
*before this*
sometimes it felt like they said it just because
they DON'T want to do it by themselves

last time
i was forced by my classmate to enter an impromptu public speaking competition
i was representing my class
at first i was frustrated
why me???
not others?
asyik-asyik saya!
*saya sangat-sangat tak suka dengan keadaan itu, masing-masing menuding jari ke arah orang lain walaupun mereka belum memasuki mana-mana aktiviti representing the class!*
i tried to think positive
i want to increase my confidence, my self-esteem
i must dare to speak in front
onstage
and i did it!
even i only got the 5th place, from 12 if i'm not mistaken
ok la right?
for some one that seldom talk in front
and i was very thankful to them
and felt sorry too
they missed such a great opportunity
next time i must enter these kind of competition again :)

that's one of the examples
okeh, time for serious matter now

move on to other topic
what do you feel when people keep pointing their fingers to you?
and get mad when we pointed ours to them?
i felt annoyed
i felt angry
i wanted to get mad
and scold those who keep pointing their fingers to other people
*sorry to my classmates, kadang-kadang saya terluah apa yang ada dalam hati*
please and please
jangan harapkan orang lain
kalau diri sendiri rasa tak dapat buat jangan nak tunjuk-tunjuk pada orang laen
and if you think you can do it
"senang je pun...tu pun nak marah"
do volunteer yourself

frankly speaking
i do believe in myself
i often said i can
just do it
if they can, why can't me?
but
there's some matters
which i can't simply said these things

please imagine this
you have been selected to be someone, a leader in guiding people 
for example
people chose you to guide them in biology class
but you failed that subject!
of course you can't do it right?
actually
you can!
but you need time to improve yourself first
then help others
what will happen if you simply accept it and proceed?

there's two possibilities
both parties, you and them
can get better
or
can get worse

i don't want it to be like that
i don't want to be somebody that can ruin people's life
when they can get better
but because of me 
( yang masih bengkang-bengkok )
in front of them
they may be someone that they do not suppose to be
it's not good
at all!

sometimes
we think we are not qualified enough
for the thing that we being asked to do
and we know, we don't have the 'X' thing
we got confused
arrgghhh! why me???
i don't want and why it must be me??
and get stressed for the whole day, or week or month!
why don't you be optimistic?
if you think you don't have the qualification
then, improve yourself!
tapi saya dan anda tak nak itu
bukan itu yang kita nak
apa yang kita nak
lari dari tangungjawab!

how can i say NO
when i knew people expect me to say YES

kadang-kadang masalah tu jugak applied kepada mereka yang memberi dan memilih
sukar kah untuk memahami kenapa sesetengah orang menolak?
mungkin bukan kerana masalah yang ada dalam fikiran anda
don't push too hard
people may get tired and fed-up
bukan hanya saya tapi yang lain juga
penat untuk mengelak sebenarnya
untuk menerangkan apa yang ada dalam hati bukan senang




mungkin suatu hari nanti
bila saya berkeyakinan yang saya mampu

i just need time to say that






p/s : maaf kepada mereka saya yang berasa saya mampu, saya masih belum yakin ditambah dengan masalah komitmen...( to sesetengah orang )

8 comments:

  1. such nice entry.. i dont knoe y, but i love to read this. haha..

    ReplyDelete
  2. BESH BESH ENTRY NI! saya malas nak tulih sal pengalaman idup.hehe~ nnt nnt kot. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. ala..en3 skiping,,x paham sanagt la...'(

    ReplyDelete
  4. kaseh suchi : light english only dear :) lgpun nih peluang baek nk blajar bahase :))

    hayati : udo need to feel motivated~ :)

    ReplyDelete

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