the weak me

salam kasih dan sayang

peace upon you

i felt miserable

seriously i hate this kind of feeling

but then

who am i to feel like this

the feeling that you felt

when nobody talk to you

nobody ask you

nobody bother about you

when you are ill

when you are even hardly can open your eyes

your face turned pale like a corpse

you can hardly walk straight

then 

your friends dont even talk to you

perhaps

they glimpsed once or twice

but no words

oh how weak i am

i wish im not the minority

i wish im not the only one different from them

i makes me felt terribly sick

sick from hatred and anger and jealousy perhaps

sadly...

its not the very first time

:')

aku tahu aku bukan siapa-siapa

hilang aku tidak membekas

tiada aku tak bererti apa-apa

ada aku seolah halimunan

wujud aku kadang tidak dihirau

aku tak mampu nak minta empati

simpati dan kasihan mungkin cukup bagi manusia macam aku

tak tahu bersyukur

ties that binding us now

may get stronger

may get weaker

we make the choice

aku bukan kakak yang baik

juga sahabat yang mengerti

seorang yang jahil

seorang yang 'garang'

seorang yang 'emo'

entah

pada mereka-mereka yang rapat

begitu sekali tanggapannya

kenapa sampai satu ketika mereka yang lain pula yang menghargai

sometimes 

i felt like

i dont have what we call family

the family that i always used to thought i had

is just my imagination

friendship is never about who have known you the longest

its about who came and never left you alone

 when you needed someone the most

aku

masih belum mampu menafikan hak diri

kata aki

mungkin inilah proses yang Allah bagi pada aku

untuk bentuk NAFI dalam diri

alhamdulillah :')

p/s : sometimes you give up on someone not because you dont care anymore,

 but you realize, they dont.