glooomy holiday~missing some days!

 

salam sejahtera

peace upon you

it’s holiday

but i’m not enjoying my holiday at all

=.=”

for the first three days, yes i did enjoying it

now?

gloooooooooomy days

started to miss everybody

i miss my path to the class

(saya selalu berseorangan bila ke kelas, i got nobody to miss for this event..hahaha

i miss my roomate

my dear cutey kitty

    zarith sofia   

rather than chatting with you

 i was weeping and crying in the room

maaf

for days and nights that i had leaved you alone

maaf

you are my wonderful roomate

you word means a lot for me whenever i that i was too weak

thank you so much

i miss my classmates

i think...for the past few weeks i got complexes towards them all

maybe because i didnt spend any valuable time with them

i kept myself busy with other things which i think more important

skipping classes

try to catch up thus ignoring others

we didnt even have time to chatting like we used to

sorry

i know...i always made somebody hurt

some might thought that im a jerk

for others that understand me in a way that others dont

thank you

even though you dont have the courage to stand up for me

but sympathy and pity is not enough for somebody who you consider a friend

my classmates for 4 years more

i love you all

its ok for you to badmouth me

tak luak pun kalau korang mengata

for love doesnt count all those silly things

we will forget bitter times and keep in mind the sweet and creamy moments

some of my dears

TESL 4

this sem is the toughest sem for me

i think i have turn out being sensitive person

before this i dont care what people are saying to me

backstabbers and those who talk bad things about me

i never disregard you

its your opinion and its your nature to have stinky mouths

but now,

i feel hurt

there are times i heard some gossips that are too outrageous

about me which i dont even know where or when or how it happen

people love making stories right?

regardless of what people did or say

i have usrati

a family which i know they will always stand up for me

cheer me up even its the worst time of my life

cry and weep with me

help me whenever i’m in need

never diregard me when im the one at fault

ukhuwwah kerana islam sangat bermakna

for years i had been searching for a true friends

i belive that i had found them

thank you for encouraging me

to be a better person

helping me to istiqamah in my way to be a better muslimah

uhibbuki fillah abadan abada

as for you

maaf sangat-sangat

kadang-kadang aku marah sebab perkara tak berasas

kecil hati dengan benda yang langsung tak logik

memandai buat hypothesis sendiri tanpa mencari conclusion

kekadang berlagak mcm tak kenal pun mu kan...

aku tak dapat jadi peneman baik

menyusahkan dan menyakitkan hati

maaf

terima kasih

marah bila aku buat silap

tegur bila aku melampau

kritik bila aku melebih-lebih

kadang-kadang aku rasa restricted tapi in a good way

mu dah macam ayah aku..haha

most important, thank you for your patience

dan aku harap akan terus bersabar neh 

1 pismp..done

seven sems to go!

p/s : i love you ♥

prinsip manusia yang tak berDUNIA : asal aku bahagia...!

salam sejahtera

peace upon you

after such a long time!

alhamdulillah..finally i got time to update blog buruk nih

siapa manusia yang tak berdunia?

it's me

and perhaps one of them is you

berDUNIA

i once had a friend

he always said that to me 

"kau ni tak berdunia..buka sikit minda tu"

-dalam nada bergurau ye-

when i look back, reminiscing the past

yes, i'm not berdunia enough

especially to people like him

plus that im not that open-minded like him

and those that hold to the principle that

   asal aku bahagia, peduli apa orang kata   

until today, even after we broke the relation that we once had

i cant apply that in my life

and im thankful for that

alhamdulillah :)

dunia - dunya in arabic

 means the temporal world—and its earthly concerns and possessions—as opposed to the eternal spiritual realm, or the hereafter 

got it?

i never mean to say that im a manusia yang berakhirat

(kalau ya, alhamdulillah)

but berdunia semata-mata sahaja silap

this world is just a temporary place

And this worldly life is not but diversion and amusement. And indeed, the home of the Hereafter - that is the [eternal] life, if only they knew. 

(29:64)

a transit after alam roh and alam rahim

on our way to barzakh

done bab berdunia

   asal aku bahagia...!   

i despise those who said that

sometimes i feel like

"waaahh..hebat orang ni!"
of course la,

they dare to live without considering what others are thinking about them

kan?

point of view is subjective

if i say it is wrong

you might look at it right

my POV, it's wrong..but not totally wrong

analogi simple :

a man going out wearing a bra, or acting like superman

wearing his briefs outside his pants

then he said,

"suka hati aku la...asal aku bahagia"

hahaha and more hahaha

whether he realise it or not, he's giving dosa to those who will insult him

the most important thing,

   dignity - maruah   

others will look down at him

berani dalam perkara yang salah

bahagia dalam cemuhan

one thing to share

most people that keep holding to this principle are those who hardly can accept any advice or critics

agree?

kehidupan tidak mungkin akan dilayari secara berseorangan

every thing dependent of other things

human need oxygen from plants

human need sunshine

human need animal

human need soil

human need water

human need other human to communicate

men need women to breed

(untuk tumbuhan dan haiwan..list la sendiri..tak larat nak taep~)

but they are people who dare to live only with his/her expectation

without considering how others look at them

(i might be mocked after this entry..huhu)

so, human..how can you say

"asal aku bahagia..peduli apa orang kata?"
this earth is too small for us to run from each other

hidup is too short for us to kumpul pahala and cover semua dosa yang kita buat

(maaf kerojakan bahasa saya di situ)

O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted. 

(49:13)

and yet we try to oppose His words

being ignorant people towards others

...you may know one another 

don't ignore the fact that people always grow according to norm

either norm made by the society or by the religions 

we always have expectation to be reached

yang baik atau buruk

wallahualam...niat itu hanya diri sendiri yang tahu

:: reminder ::

bukan kita sahaja yang punya hati untuk dijaga

bukan kita sahaja yang ada buah fikiran untuk diluah

bukan kita sahaja yang ada pendirian untuk dipegang

bukan kita sahaja yang ada kehidupan untuk dilayari

bukan kita sahaja yang mahukan kebahagiaan

bukan kita sahaja yang mahu mengelak kedukaan

wallahualam

p/s : nak hidup seorang boleh la pegang prinsip tu. 

saya taknak, awak nak? :P

sometimes SIBUK is bETTEr than LAPANG

salam sejahtera

peace upon you

warning..this is my shortest entry so far

alhamdulillah

being busy keeps me away from unnecessary matter

moral :

appreciate your time

busy or not, time is precious 

use it wisely

jom hidupkan kempen 

   a status a zikr   

sama-sama kita menambah pahala

memberatkan mizan di akhirat nanti =)

p/s : thank you ALLAH

an ANGRY entry for january

salam sejahtera

peace upon you

an angry entry for january

waaa..rhythmic, isn’t it?

sory for my late wish

   gong xi fat cai    

J

angry? yes, absolutely angry!

i am angry with a very good reason

i realised how corrupted my environment is when i was home for the CNY holiday

i made a decision to stay with my grandparents, not my parents

what i can say?

far from typical, but broken family institution

not mine, but the social environment

sorry to say but the truth is always a pain in the ass

they always lepaking in the evening, near dusk

babbling about their neighbours

gossiping about the new car that one of the neighbour that live a kilometre from them had just bought

making and creating news that totally irrational and hard to digest

seldom, when they got nothing to talk, they critic the government

first day, i was cool

for me, dengar aje lah…tak luak pun

second day, i started to feel annoyed

they wasting their precious old time just like that you know!

bukan nak beribadah minta ampun dari tuhan

=.=”

and those activities didn’t stop there

so annoying

sometimes someone will come at night

around after maghrib, seldom after isya’

they will continue their hot stories from the evening till late at night

kadang-kadang selit juga dengan cerita ustaz itu ustazah ini

but that only sometimes and not a-good-to-hear stories

i hate it when i was been forced to listen to all those b***shit!

i feel like i wanna yell, scold each one of them

kuman di seberang laut nampak jelas nyata, bnagkai gajah depan mata?

buat-buat invisible

typical malayan families in malaysia

saya bukan nak memburukkan but as i said before

truth is always a pain in the ass

when i reflect back to myself

i have no difference from them

maybe there are differences, but not much

saya tahu

fitnah itu lebih buruk dari membunuh

pandai kritik orang, hakikatnya

itulah halwa telinga kita semua

what we are waiting for are stories about others

add here and there, modify those stories a bit then pass it to others

tiny little things become stories of the year

     we need to make a difference     

tak boleh banyak sikit pun jadi

i don’t want my next generation become corrupted

my sons my daughters my great-great-great grandkids

and yours too

p/s : boleh migraine hari-hari dok dengar cerita tentang harta orang

happy new year!

salam sejahtera

peace upon you

maaf terlambat

       happy new year - salam maal hijrah       

semoga tahun ini lebih baik dari tahun-tahun yg akan datang!

dont regret the past

of course you wanna be better than your past

but,

how about this

try to strive as hard as you can

make this year special!

well,

i admit

i made mistakes that i cant erase

but i dont want to regret it, ever

mistakes make us grow 

make us become more matured

tapi jangan la lepas dah tobat tu buat balik =.="

sometimes we never realise that we leave our prints behind
footprints can be erased
scars to others, who knows?


experiences...is what we need


an analogy from one of my ustazs
a man that struggled hard to become a doctor 
dont want to use the best medicine he recommended to his patients
even though he suffered severely of the disease than his patients
|
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the simplest application i could think
people that learn agama
no matter which religions, Islam, Christian, Hindu or Buddha
but dont want to apply it in their lives
they only take parts which they think its important
even though hedonism, sinful acts being practiced in front of their eyes
or DONE by themselves
lebih kurang macam
cakap pandai tapi buat nya tak


in fact
saya pun begitu =.="


its never too late to change
its never too late to make hijra
what is important
you have the determination to change
and
   CHANGED!   


kesedaran semata tak memberi hasil kalau tak dilakukan 

p/s : istiqamah itu penting :)

home sweet HOME!

salam sejahtera

peace upon you

finally

a dozen of us dapat juga berkumpul

i miss them so much – raya haji kan tak balik kampung

yang nakal makin nakal

yang botak dah berambut

yang manja makin manja

yang pendek gemuk dah makin tinggi dan kurus

my mom told me i got thinner

haha..i think she really missed me

that’s why whenever i went home she told me illogical things

whatever it is

masa yang dapat kita spend bersama keluarga yang dah lama tak bersua

is the best!

fot those who always go home, every weekend or every month

you don’t feel what we feel

wait till you stay far far away from your family

oh, i forgot one more thing

congrats to upsr candidates

no matter what your results are

it’s best because you already gave your best before

jangan riak

jangan putus asa

work harder, strive for a better future 

p/s : 1^st day at home, i woke up at noon =.="

happy eid adha

salam sejahtera

peace upon you

cepat, padat, ringkas

  happy eid adha  

to myself

i hope you are strong enough to hear the takbir

selamat beraya di perantauan 

kepada diri sendiri dan semua yang lain

p/s : to others, dun eat too much lembu.

ingat lah kami yang tak dapat merasa~haha

there is "WE" in "ME"

salam sejahtera 

peace upon you

YOU and ME might be a different piece of puzzle

but there's WE in ME

i know

almost everybody think i am a nuisance

keep asking

WHAT HAPPENED? WHY? KENAPA? ARE YOU OK?

all the time this kind of words keep slipping out of my tongue

it's not like i can't control my words

i just care too much

because i love you so much

sorry if you take me as a busy body

sorry if i had bothered you

sorry if i made you felt annoyed

saya tak akan pernah tahu yang mereka tak suka

terima kasih kerana memberitahu

but i'll never stop asking

cause we are friends forever

p/s : i miss my friends..sooOOoo much!

a short note to a FRIEND

salam sejahtera 

peace upon you

a friend is one who believes in you

when you have ceased to believe in yourself

i really don't know why

maybe because i seldom bother about you

it's not like i don't want to care

i really cared about you, about everyone in my circle

it's just that...maybe it's just my fault

i'm sorry

sometimes

i got my own reasons

i tend to keep it to myself

i think

it's OK, i can handle this

it's OK, i can't make others worry about me

it's OK, because they don't want to know either

actually

it's really not!

i really want you to know

oh, i have problems

instead of 

i'm OK dear

it's OK, i don't mind

it's OK if i'm not around 

instead of

keep that fake smiling mouth

i really want to share everything that i can

i want you to know that i'm hurting

i don't like your words

i feel offended when you say that

i feel annoyed with your jokes

but

it's difficult right?

i still feel a gap with you

even to tell something that i should

i think that

i have to keep something to myself only

you don't have to know

they don't have to know

i just keep that thing shut from all of you

actually

when everything accumulated together

it's hurt

very much!

i felt like i was an alien in front of you

what i did together with you

all are fake

the faces i used to show you

only a mask

maybe i'm not fit to become a so called true friend

i don't even reach the standard of a friend

yet i proudly claimed myself as your friend

how funny i was!

i promise you

again

i PROMISE you

i will never make things difficult for us

i love you so much

don't ever leave me

don't ever leave us

together we continue our journey in this world

i can't stand alone without friends

so do you

“Sesiapa antara kamu yang menginginkan kebahagiaan syurga, hendaklah dia melazimkan diri dalam jemaah. Sebab syaitan suka kepada orang yang bersendirian.” (Hadis sahih riwayat Imam al-Tirmizi)

p/s : ilysm!